here i am walking to your house,
i dont like this feeling of sickness inside.
every step i take i come closer and closer,
i'm walking in the build where you live,
throat dry and sticky, i can barely breathe.
i can't think of the face to face regection its killing me.
i reach your door knock, knock, knock.
im releaved when noone answers.
but scared that you wont get the invite,
and my dream sadly wont become a reality.
i'm dying inside
wanting to get out of my own home
no place to hide
i feel so alone
here i sit and cry on my bed
knowing, hoping theyd all be better off if i was dead
listening to music that make me feel worse
why do they hate me? why am i no good
why was i born into this world as a burden, a curse
i'm concidering suicide i tell meself 'stop concidering you just should'
noone to talk to i feel so traped
i want to lay down and never wake from this nap
i cried for an hour over the girl of my dreams,
i know she didn't try but she mad my heart come apart at the seems.
baby i want you to be my biggest obsession,
but all your doing is filling me with depression.
I dont know how to say this,
I've known it for quite a long time.
I dont know how so say this,
And if i tell them they'll see me as slime.
I've kept this my secret for so long,
And i just feel so trapped now.
I cant keep it hidden anymore it would just be wrong,
God how will i tell them i feel like im going to drown.
I'm sure once its out they'll all understand,
Or maybe it'll will all go wrong.
But this is just part of my better life plan,
i just feel like its with one of them that i belong.
here i am walking to your house,
i dont like this feeling of sickness inside.
every step i take i come closer and closer,
i'm walking in the build where you live,
throat dry and sticky, i can barely breathe.
i can't think of the face to face regection its killing me.
i reach your door knock, knock, knock.
im releaved when noone answers.
but scared that you wont get the invite,
and my dream sadly wont become a reality.
i'm dying inside
wanting to get out of my own home
no place to hide
i feel so alone
here i sit and cry on my bed
knowing, hoping theyd all be better off if i was dead
listening to music that make me feel worse
why do they hate me? why am i no good
why was i born into this world as a burden, a curse
i'm concidering suicide i tell meself 'stop concidering you just should'
noone to talk to i feel so traped
i want to lay down and never wake from this nap
i cried for an hour over the girl of my dreams,
i know she didn't try but she mad my heart come apart at the seems.
baby i want you to be my biggest obsession,
but all your doing is filling me with depression.
I dont know how to say this,
I've known it for quite a long time.
I dont know how so say this,
And if i tell them they'll see me as slime.
I've kept this my secret for so long,
And i just feel so trapped now.
I cant keep it hidden anymore it would just be wrong,
God how will i tell them i feel like im going to drown.
I'm sure once its out they'll all understand,
Or maybe it'll will all go wrong.
But this is just part of my better life plan,
i just feel like its with one of them that i belong.
i just found out that the forreal love of my life hasnt talked to me in forever because he joined the army. i'm so scared now. my chest hurts so bad. this is the first time in forever that i've cried like this. because he is the one im meant to be with, i dont care what anyone says about it. and now the fact that i may never get to talk to again let alone meet my reason for being here is killing me. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-w3WfgpcGg&ob=av2e this song is about the only thing that can even come close to how i feel.
well on december 22 i will start cyber school. as of that day i will start deleting everything. starting with deviantart. tumblr. facebook. and so on. just thought i should let you know and for those who dont look fuck you. apparently im not worth your time. as im not worth anyone else's time either.
its almost 1 so i know theres noone awake that i can talk to but i went and did it again you guys. i let myself get used. :'( i thought he had changed but i was so wrong and it just got thrown in my face. you guys im so sick of this shit i dont know how much more of it i can take i already feel like i should talk to my doctor about depression medication :( i have choices and i just help people push me closer to the edge. and im starting to sway on my heels as my foot is pushed to the half way mark help me please someone. before its to late help extend the ledge?